Friday, July 27, 2012

The Birth of Phoebe Grey (Christian's POV)


*This is FAN FICTION of the 50 Shades.  It starts from Phoebe's birth and continues on.  I don't own the rights to any of the 50 shades trilogy.  The photos are from google search.



I'm just sitting down for a meeting with some important clients when there is a knock at the door and Andrea peeks in.

"Mr. Grey?"  Andrea sounds off and already I can tell something is important.  Andrea knows not to bother me when I'm in a meeting and there is only one thing that would cause her to interrupt me.  Well, more like one person.

_____Flashback to 4 years ago_____


"Andrea?"

"Yes Mr. Grey."

"I want you to remember this.  It's very important."

She takes out her notepad and looks at me expectingly.

"You are to never bother me in a meeting unless one very important person calls.  Her name is Anastasia Steele- or Ana.  She is the only person you interrupt me for.  It doesn't matter if I'm in the bathroom.  If she calls, you find me and tell me.  Understood?"


"Yes sir!"  She says, writing the name down.


I notice she looks up at me with confusion.  She must remember her name.

"Yes, Andrea, Miss Anastasia Steele.   The one who came in to interview me a few months back."

"Is she a reporter sir?"  Andrea looks confused.   How do I explain this to Andrea.  She has never know me to have a girlfriend.

"No Andrea.  She is my girlfriend."

Andrea's mouth drops but she catches herself.  It takes her exceptionally long to write the world "girlfriend" on the notepad and I half think she is pretending to in order to avoid eye contact. 


"Yes sir."  She finally says, looking down at the floor.


"Good."  I dismiss her.




__________________




"Yes Andrea?"  I say with alarm.  My guests are all looking at me confused.


"Sawyer is on the phone."  She says, holding up my blackberry which had been charging at her desk.   


"He is taking Mrs. Grey to the hospital.  She went into labor."  She finishes as my heart stops.  I've been afraid of this day ever since we found out she was pregnant again.  


I reach out for the phone.  "Sawyer, what's going on?" I say, bringing it to my ear.


"Mrs. Grey is having pains.  Gail thinks she is in labor.  Gail and I are taking her to the hospital now."


"Have you left yet?"


"No sir.  She is saying goodbye to Teddy."  My heart sinks at the thought that she has to leave Teddy for a few hours.  They are inseparable.  


"I'm leaving now."  I hold my hand over the phone and address the men in my meeting.  "Gentlemen, I'm sorry but I will have to reschedule this meeting.  My wife just went into labor."  The men smile and congratulate me as they begin to exit the room.    Andrea holds the door for them.  She looks just as nervous as I am.


"Sawyer, I want to be on the phone with you the entire car ride.  I need to be able to talk to her if she needs me.  Let me speak to her when she gets into the car and then when I'm done put me on the bluetooth.  Understood?"


"Yes sir."   I continue to listen to Sawyer breath.


"Andrea, reschedule this meeting for next week sometime.  Also, get Taylor and tell him to have the car out front immediately.  Tell him Ana has gone into labor."  I make sure to add that so Taylor doesn't worry this is about Gail.  Ever since Gail announced she was pregnant Taylor and I have been like two nervous expectant dad's.  It's all we can think or talk about.

"Also" I add, "Get Carla, Ana's mother, on the phone and schedule a flight for them immediately.  Then call John and have him take Charlie Tango up to Portland to pick up Ray and Jose!"


"Yes sir!"  Andrea says and is out the door to her desk in a matter of seconds.  I'm glad understands my urgency.


I've had this all planned out for a month and with one group text message to everyone I start the ball rolling with the plans.  I text my parents, Elliot, Mia, Kate, Ethan, Ray, Carla, Bob, and Jose.

"IT'S TIME"  It reads in capital letters.  Everyone knows their parts in the plan from there on out.  Carla and Bob will talk to Andrea about a flight.  Ray and Jose will know to wait for John and Charlie Tango.  Kate and Elliot will make their way to the hospital, and my parents will head to our house to pick up Sophia and Teddy and meet us at the hospital.

Shit!  I forgot Mia and Ethan are still on a plane from Paris.  I quickly text Arthur and Paul to go to the airport and wait for Mia and Ethan and then go back to get Carla and Bob later.


"Here she comes now."   I hear Sawyer say as I finish my text message.  I wait for what feels like an eternity.  I finally hear Ana's voice, but she isn't talking to me.  Just the sound of her voice comforts me.


"Arthur, I forgot my cell phone in my office.  Can you unplug it so it doesn't overcharge and then having Grace and Carrick bring it to the hospital with Teddy?"

"Yes ma'am."  I hear Arthur's faint response from a distance.

"Hi honey"  She says, trying to stay calm.  My heart beat quickens at the sound of her beautiful voice.

"Baby, are you okay?"  I ask, panicked.

"Yes.  I'm just a little shocked.  I'm not due for another month."   She says, and then I hear a sniffle.  Shit!  She is crying.  Is she scared?

"Ana!  What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  Teddy is just waving goodbye to me from the door.  This is harder than when I went back to work!"  Oh, my poor baby.  I wish I could hold her.

"Oh baby, I wish I was there right now.  I'm on my way to the hospital now.  I love you."  I say with a whisper.  God, I love her so much it hurts.

"I love you too."  She whispers back.  My heart melts again.  I'll never grow tired of hearing her say it.  "Hurry."  She adds and immediately I am at my feet and rushing into the special elevator which stays on our floor at all times in case I need to leave in a hurry.

"I'm trying."  I say as the doors shut and I head down to the first floor lobby.  "Hand me back to Sawyer." I instruct.

By now I've practically sprinted to the front curb where Taylor is just pulling up.  He doesn't even bother hopping out to open my door.  I climb into the passenger seat next to him.

"Taylor!  Hurry up."  I say and he nods and speeds off.

"What's going on?"  I hear Ana ask as I set up the bluetooth in our car.

"Mr. Grey requested he stay with us on bluetooth while we drive to the hospital."  Sawyer answers.

"If I can't be there with you in person I want to at least be able to talk to you."  I tell her.  I can sense she is rolling her eyes at me but I dare not poke a pregnant woman in labor.

I hear Ana cry out in pain and I cringe.  It must be her contractions.  It broke my heart to watch her doubled over in pain when she went into labor with Teddy.  I couldn't wait for them to give her drugs to make her feel better.  I'd do anything to avoid seeing Ana in pain like that, even if it was for a worthy cause.

"Ana.  Don't forget your breathing exercises."  I hear Gail remind her.  I see Taylor smile out of the corner of my eye.  I think he voice calms him like Ana's calms me.

I hear some shuffling finally Ana cries out "My mom!"   

"She and Bob are on the next flight out of Savanna."  I say to calm her down.  "I just got off the phone with them and I booked it first class.   They leave in an hour and a half.  And Ray is on his way.  I  just sent Charlie Tango to get him."  I don't want to mention Jose to her yet.  I want it to be a surprise.

"My parents are on their way to the house to get Teddy and Sophie."  I see Taylor smile again.  "I just text Elliot and he and Kate are on their way as well.  Mia and Ethan are on their flight home from Paris so once they land I'll send someone to pick them up and bring them straight to the hospital."

I lie a little.  I didn't call them, Andrea did but that's just semantics.  I will call Carla and Bob when I know Ana is safe at the hospital.  For now, I just want her to worry about herself and our baby.

"Thank you."  She whispers.

"No baby. Thank you."  I whisper back thinking of how much pain she must be in and it hits me that she is willing to go through this for me.  For us.  So we can have another baby.  So Teddy can be a big brother.   She is such an amazing and strong woman and because of her I get to be a father to not just an adorable little boy who lights up my life, but now to a beautiful little girl who I hope will have Ana's eyes.  Teddy has my eyes and that broke my heart.  But a little girl with Ana's eyes would ruin me.  I'd have two beautiful women controlling my world with just one glance of those piercing eyes.

We sit in silence for a little while while I listen to her doing her breathing exercises.  Hearing her breath helps me know she is okay.  I hear them pull up at the hospital.  Sawyer takes the phone with him and I can tell her is rushing to get her inside.   Everything I hear is muffled.   The phone must be in his pocket.  I think he forgot about me.  I smile to myself.  I head the nurse greet Ana and the bring her in.  Good.  Grace called the hospital ahead of time and prepared for her arrival.  I has asked her to do that when it was time.  To have someone there to park the car so Sawyer wouldn't leave Ana alone.  I also asked to have the private birthing suite with the private waiting room and the OR right next to it all.  

I listen to them get her set up in the room as Taylor speeds toward the hospital.  We are only about five minutes away.  Sawyer gets back on the phone with me.

"Sorry Sir.  My hands were full."  He apologizes.

"That's fine Sawyer.  We're about five minutes away.  I'm going to make a few calls and then I'll be in. Call me if anything important happens." I instruct.

"Yes sir."  He says and I hang up.  I dial Carla.  She answers on the first ring.

"Christian!'  

"Hi Carla.  Did Andrea set you guys up on a flight."

"Yes.  We are on our way to the airport.  Is everything okay?  How is Ana."

"I think she is fine.  I'm on my way to her now.  She just checked into the hospital."  She can sense my worry.

"Don't worry Christian.  She will be fine.  She is a strong woman.  I'll see you guys soon."

"See you soon, Carla."  I smile and hang  up.  She is a good mother, just like her daughter is too.


Taylor pulls up to the hospital and I hop out before he puts the car in park.  I rush into the hospital and to the birthing suite.  I already know where it is since it's next to the one I rented for when we had Teddy.  This is a new suite.  After Teddy was born I donated money to the hospital to have a new birthing suite made.  I wanted one where families could rent out the room, the waiting room, and the OR and have it all in one small section so they could have privacy.  Last time reporters swarmed the waiting room and our poor families had to be hidden in a hospital room next to Ana's.

As I make my way around the corner I see Sawyer standing outside the door.  He already knows to be on the look out for paparazzi and not to let anyone but the predetermined family members into our private section of the hospital.

I see Gail come out of the room and her face relaxes when she sees me.  Her eyes wander behind me and I know Taylor must have caught up to me.  "Thank God!"  She exclaims and I smile at her and breeze into the room.  Ana signs in relief when she sees me and then smiles at something going on behind me.  No doubt something to do with Taylor and Gail who have become increasingly affectionate since she became pregnant.  I rather enjoy seeing the happy doting husband/father side of Taylor.  It reminds me of myself.  Besides, Taylor knows how to balance between professional and personal, so I don't mind at all.   I can't expect him to be all work and no play when he lives with us, and has a family of his own.

I look in and see her holding her tummy and breathing through a contraction.  I'm at her side in a second, the beeping of the baby's heart monitor and her's is the only noise in the room except for her breathing.  Am I even breathing?  Shit.  I think I forgot to breath.  


Seeing her in a hospital bed scares me.  Even though I've had this room designed to look like a hotel suite, it's still a hospital room and it still affects me.  Twice now I've watched her lay in a hospital bed in pain and I had the idea of having to do it a third time.  I take her hand in mine, careful of the IV, and I lean down to kiss her forehead.

"Oh Ana.  I hate seeing you in a hospital bed."

"I'm fine.  Besides, this looks more like a five star hotel than a hospital!"  She jokes at my expense.  She thought I was crazy when I told her I was having a wing of the hospital created just for when we have another baby.  I mean, other couples use it too, but it was created with her in mind.  I smile at her teasing.

"Are you still in pain?"  I ask and she shakes her head no.  Gail appears in the door with a pink hospital cup.  Must be ice chips.

"Here Mr. Grey."  Gail hands them to me and winks at Ana and then turns on her heels.

"Gail!'  Ana calls to her and she turns and looks at Ana with her head cocked to one side in confusion.  I mirror Gail as I look down at Ana.

"Yes ma'am?"  Gail finally asks.

Ana lets go of my hand and reaches out to Gail.  Gail walks back to Ana and takes her hand.

"Yes ma'am?"  She asks again, still obviously a confused as I am.

Then Ana reach up like Teddy does when we put him to be at night, and pull her down into a hug.  Gail tenses, probably because she is in my presence.  Something about Gail and Ana hugging makes me smile a little.  I think they have bonded over both being pregnant and it warms my heart than Ana has had someone to take care of her in my absence.  I glance behind me and see Taylor.  He also has a faint smile on his face as he waits for Gail in the doorway.

"Thank you, for everything."  she say, as they let go.

"Of course, Ana.  I know you'd do the same for me."  She smiles.  I think she is about to cry.

"I would."  Ana answers.  Gail winks again and turns on her heels, this time leaving to join Taylor.  He smiles at Ana, who smiles at him.  Her affect on us all is apparent.  Is there anyone in my life who doesn't love Ana?

The doctor finally joins us and discusses the c-section process.  I blanch just thinking about going through this all again.  Luckily Ana isn't in much pain anymore as they have given her meds.

The nurse hands me a pair of sea foam colored scrubs and a mask.  Ana aks if she can be wheeled in the wheelchair to the OR and not in the bed.   Reluctantly the doctor and I both agree to allow it.

We pass by the family waiting room which has a floor to ceiling wall of glass to allow family and friends to see out.  I look in and see Elliot coloring with Teddy,  Carrick is on the phone,  Kate is sitting in the corner next to Grace who is bouncing baby Eva on her lap.  Their new nanny, I think her name is Joy, is sitting next to them.




"Stop!"  Ana says to the nurse, just outside the door.  I'm growing impatient.  I just want the baby out of her already so this whole thing can be over.

Everyone's heads snap up and look at us.  She smiles at them all and Teddy squeals, "Mommy!"  He goes to run for us but Elliot stops him.

"Hi baby boy.  I'll be back soon with baby Phoebe!"  She tell him.  I see Kate give Ana a wink. "Good luck."  Kate mouths to her with a big grin.  


Grace smiles at us and returns to bouncing baby Eva who is giggling.  Little girls and their giggles.  I love Ana's giggle but if Phoebe's giggle is anything as cute as Eva's then I'm in trouble.  


Carrick calls to Ana, "Ray wants me to say he loved you darling."  I put Carrick in charge of checking in on Ray.  I'm glad to see he is doing his job.  A few months after Teddy was born Carrick, Elliot, Ethan, Ray, Jose and I went out on a fishing trip.  It was all part of Ana's request for us all to bond with each other for Teddy's sake.  Not that none of us got along but I think it was more to get Jose and I to bond without the awkwardness.   It worked.  Every few months we do a fishing trip together now, and Ray and Carrick have become close enough to engage in phone conversations on their own, which makes Ana and I both very happy.

"Tell him I love him too."

I take the wheelchair and resumes pushing Ana while the nurse trots along side of us.  This way we won't make any more unnecessary stops.  Taylor is behind me.

"Mia's plan landed.  I've sent Paul to pick them up.  Arthur is waiting by the airport for Carla and Bob to arrive.  Becca is getting Sophie dinner in the cafeteria."  He informs me.


"Good.  Thank you Taylor."  I answer with a smile.  


"Good luck ma'am."  Taylor says to Ana as we stop in front of the OR door.


"Thank you Taylor."  She say as he turns to head back to the waiting room.  I can tell he is nervous thinking about this being him in a few months.


We go in the double doors and are greeted by more nurses and our doctor who has washed up and is ready to go.  My heart is pounding as Ana climbs up on the table.  They administer the epidural and put put up a partition of blue paper so we can't see them cutting Ana open.  


They ask her one final time if she can feel anything and she says she can't.  I know this means they are going to cut her open and I decide not to look this time.  Last time I felt sick to my stomach watching them tear into her like a piece of meat.  This time I keep my eyes on Ana.  This whole process is happening so fast and it worries me.  I watch her eyes grow wider.  Is she in pain?  I don't think so.  She'd say something if she was.  Maybe she can feel them moving around.  The whole idea freaks me out.  I try not to think about what is going on beyond the blue partition.


Ana's lip begins to quiver and I wonder if she is cold or scared.  My hand is around hers, and my other hand is caressing her hair.  I just want to hold her to keep her warm and comfort her, but I don't want to get in the way.

"I love you so much, Ana."  I remind her as I lean down to kiss her quivering lips.  "Every time I think that you couldn't possibly make me any happier than you already have, you surprise me."  I smiles, this time kissing the top of her head.

The beeping on her monitor goes up.  At first I wonder if it's from my kiss, but the nurse next to us seems a little alarmed.  My face drops when I see Ana's eyes flutter.

"Ana?  What's wrong?" I'm panicking as I watch a shiver go through her.

"Ana!"  I cry as she closes her eyes.  Shit!  What is going on!  The doctor must have pulled Phoebe from her because a nurse is carrying a blanket with something in it over to the baby table.

"Doctor, her blood pressure is dangerously low!"  I hear another nurse call from behind the blue sheet.  Her eyes are still closed and I can't even take a breath.

I'm looking around nervously at all the commotion.  Finally, I hear Phoebe's first cry.  Thank God, Phoebe is okay.  I squeeze Ana's hand to see if she will respond.  She doesn't squeeze back.

"I want my mother in here.  NOW!"  I scream at one of the nurses.  I see her look at the doctor, who must okay it because she leaves for the washroom and within minutes my mother is here in scrubs and washed up.  She stands behind me.

My mother talks to the doctor, while one hand is on my shoulder.  I'm holding Ana's hand and calling her name.  She isn't responding.   The doctor tells my mother to wait for my blood pressure to go back up.   They give Ana some medicine in her IV and more fluids.  I feel like we're waiting forever.

While we wait for Ana to come to, the nurse brings Phoebe over and I get my first glimpse of her.  She is perfect.  She looks like a little doll.  Her eyes are wide open and she begins crying.

Oh God.  She has Ana's eyes!  Those eyes have a way of bringing me to my knees and if I wasn't sitting that's where I'd be right now.

"Mrs. Grey.  Open your eyes.  Look at your daughter, Mrs. Grey."  The nurse insists.  My mom squeezes my shoulder as tears pool in my eyes.  I  grip Ana's hand in mine and hold it to his mouth.


I cannot lose her.  This can't happen.  This wonderful amazing woman can't just breeze into my life and completely change it and then leave me with nothing but a memory of her.  Nothing but a new pair of those gorgeous blue eyes that will stare at me every day.  Haunting me.  I'd die before I'd live a day without my wife.

"Baby-" I plead and close my eyes releasing a single tear that slides down my cheek to my lips.  The lips that I use to worship her with my kisses, my compliments, or just the sweet utterance of her name.

All of a sudden I feel her finger slip out of my grasp and trace a line along my cheek.  It sends a shock right through my body.  My eyes spring open and I see her laying there, eyes open looking at me.  She looks tired, but she is alive.  My heart resumes beating again and I let out a soft sob as I kiss her finger that finds its way to my lips.

"She'll be fine."  Grace says comforting him.  "Just let her rest."  She kisses me on the top of the head and lets go of me.

I watch her glance over on her other side and see Phoebe for the first time.  I watch her intently, not to disturb her.  I wonder what she is thinking.  Probably the same thing I am thinking- what a beautiful creation we've made.

She reaches out her free hand and traces Phoebe's cheek with the back of her index finger like she did mine.   The nurse reaches Phoebe out over Ana's head to me and I take her in my arms.  She is small, a whole month early, and she looks like a little pink peanut all swaddled up with a pink knitted cap.  I have her cradled in one arm, resting her on the bed next to Ana's face, and my other arm is around her, behind her head.  I'm creating a protective bubble around them.   In this moment I realize there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do to keep these two women safe.

"My girls."  I smile.  "My perfect beautiful girls."

She smile.  I feel so happy in this moment.  All of a sudden I think of Teddy.  I can't wait for Teddy to meet Phoebe.

We stay like this for a while while they finish cleaning Ana  up.  Finally they return her to her suite.  Ana's laying on the transportation bed they brought in for her since she can't sit yet.  She can't take her eyes from Phoebe so she doesn't notice when we pass everyone and the glass wall.  As we pass by I nod at Grace who has Teddy on her lap.   This means that as soon as visitors are allowed in, she is to bring Teddy in.  She knows this is part of her assigned job today.  


Teddy isn't paying attention to us but is playing with the charms on Grace's bracelet.  He likes to play with the blue baby shoe charm.  He knows it's the charm we gave her when he was born and he always flicks it when she wears the bracelet.

Once Ana is settled in the room the nurse puts Phoebe on Ana's chest.  Skin-to-skin contact is important and then Ana begins to nurse Phoebe.  It's all so amazing to watch.  This woman who I love with all of my heart has not only created and then carried a life inside her, but now she nourishes that life.  It makes me realize that like me, our children depend on Ana to keep them alive.  She is our lifeline.  If not just for genes, we at least also have that in common.

Once done, Ana freshens up and the nurse swaddles Phoebe and exists.  A few minutes later Grace appears in the door with Teddy.   The two of the stroll over to the bed, Teddy's little hand in Grace's.

"Uppy Grammie!"  His little voice calls.  My heart melts and I see Ana smile.  She is so happy to finally see our baby boy.

Grace lifts him and sits him next to Ana on the bed, on the other side, away from my IV.  Smart idea Mom.  I think of the damage Teddy could do to Ana even by accident if he came in contact with the IV.

"Hi mommie!"  He says with a shy smile.  I wonder if he is worried about her being in the hospital.

"Hi baby boy."  She says with a smile back.  "I missed you!"  She reaches out and hugs him gently.  They have such a special bond.  He truly is a 'Momma's boy'.  I wonder briefly if Phoebe and I will have that bond.  The typical 'Daddy's little girl' bond that everyone has warned me about.

"Gentle with mommy, Teddy."  I remind him and then turn to get my little girl.

"Fee-bee!"  Teddy squeals when he sees me lift her.  How adorable is my son!

The sound of him saying her name like that makes Ana giggle.  I can't stand her giggle, it is infectious and immediately I get a wide happy smile on my face.  Here I stand, holding my precious little angel in my arms.  She looks just like a small Ana.  Same nose. Same lips. Same eyes.  Same hair color.  And my beautiful son who looks just like me with his grey eyes and copper hair sits next to my amazing wife who helped me create these perfect mixtures of each other.  The ultimate sign of love between a couple is creating a life together.  To be able to actually make something so perfect with all the things we love about each other bundled into one tiny body.  It amazes me.  Ana finds a way to amaze me yet again.


Phoebe fusses so I lay her down on the couch and begin to change her.  "Come here, Teddy."  I say when I'm done.  

Grace helps Teddy down off the bed and he runs over to me and climbs up on the couch.  He peeks over and studies Phoebe carefully while I work on swaddling her.  I'll never be an expert like the nurses are.



Teddy looks up at me with a smile.  He is happy with her.  Me too buddy.  Me too.

I sit up and cradle Phoebe in one arm and use the other to pull Teddy onto my lap.  After a second or two Teddy rests his head under my chin.  It reminds me of when Ana sits like this on my lap.  I smile thinking how many times I've held her like this, with the same protective instincts and love that I now have for our children too.  I can tell Teddy is sucking his tumb, and normally I'd try to correct him but it's just too cute and besides, I don't have a free hand.  I continue looking down at Phoebe.   She is just perfect, exactly like her mother and exactly how I hoped she'd be.

I hear my mom gasp.  They must both be in tears watching me with my children.  I never thought I'd be a father.  Hell.  I never thought I'd be a husband.  Or a boyfriend.  But here I am, the happiest and luckiest man in the world.  I have a wife, a son, and a daughter.  I think back to that movie Ana had me watch on cable one night.  The part where the man tells the woman he loves "You're everything I never knew I always wanted."  That is exactly how I feel right now.

"Mom."  I calls to Grace, without looking up from Phoebe beautiful blue eyes.  They have me hypnotized.  I'm wondering if they are even more beautiful than Ana's.  "Can you escort the photographer in.  I want a photo of this."  I say with a smile.


"Of course."  I see her wipes her eyes and leave the room.


Teddy continues to suck his thumb.  I think he is just as hypnotized as I am.  "You too buddy?" I whisper, but get no response.

A few seconds later the door opens and Jose walks in, camera in hand.  I don't have to look up to know Ana is happy.  I knew she would be.  I wanted someone I trusted here to take photos.  I didn't want someone leaking photos to the press to make a profit and I knew I could not only trust Jose, but that Ana would be happy to have him here.

"Jose!"  I hear her say in shock.  I'm still looking Phoebe am am smiling.

"Hey Ana.  Congratulations!  Christian asked me to fly down with Ray so I could be your photographer for the day."  He explains as he begins taking photos of me and my children.


"Will Tori be coming down?"  She asks him as he continues snapping photos.


"She can't today.  She has her final dress fitting and couldn't move the appointment.  But she'll be down tomorrow."  Ana doesn't know yet that I booked Jose and Tori at a hotel down the street.  Tori is a very nice girl and I am glad Jose finally found someone.  He has stopped ogling my wife and that makes me very happy.

"Jose, can you invite the others in?"  I ask, still looking at Phoebe.  He nods and disappears.

"Thank you."  Ana says when Jose is gone.

"No, Mrs. Grey, thank you."  I respond and look up at her with a big smile.

"Teddy.  Do you want to hold your baby sister?"  I ask as I feel Teddy squirm.  He must be getting bored.

He nods never taking his thumb out of his mouth.  I shifts Teddy a bit so I can try to do this all in one swift maneuver.

"Remember hod to hold the baby?"  Ana ask.  She sounds worried.

Teddy nods and puts his arms in a circle.   Ana taught him that when Eva was born.

I prop a pillow on Teddy's lap and then turn Phoebe around and lays on the pillow.  I circle my arms around Teddy and Phoebe so neither of them can fall.   Teddy makes a smaller circle of protection around Phoebe too.  Here we sit.  I'm protecting what's mine and Teddy is laying claim to Phoebe.  He will be an excellent big brother and protector.

Just then Jose is in the door again and snapping photos.  Behind him, one by one visitors begin to trickle in signing and gasping and letting out little "ohh's" and "ahh's".

I see Grace look at me and she begins to cry a little.  Carrick taks a photo with his phone.  He must be sending the photo to Grandma and Grandpa Trevelyn as I requested. 


Ray and Kate are at Ana's bedside with her.  Elliot brings Eva over to us.  I smile thinking about how Elliot and I are father's now.  Both proud father's of baby girls.  This will be interesting to get used to.

"Yook it, Eba!  Yook it Fee-bee!" Teddy says as Elliot kneels down with Eva on his knee.  We both laugh at Teddy's baby talk.  The fact that Teddy talks to Eva is adorable.  Eva can't talk back but being a toddler, he doesn't seem to notice or care.

"Yook it, Lleiot!  Yook at Fee-bee!'  I say mocking Teddy.  The two of us laugh together.  Teddy looks up at me with a scowl and we laugh even harder.  Phoebe stirs a little.  Oops.

Jose continues taking photos and luckily he catches us before Eva beings to cry.  Instinctively he lifts her above his head and sniffs her backside.  "Phew!!"  He exclaims and holds her at arms length towards Kate who comes over and takes her for a diaper change.


"Still not changing diapers?"  Ana ask him, laughing.  A few weeks back he changed a particularly messy diaper and ended up losing his lunch all over the nursery floor.  I don't think he's changed a diaper since.  I don't blame him, Teddy has had some really nasty diapers.  Especially after he started eating solid foods.   I'm just glad he is almost fully potty trained now.  But then again, we're back to square one with baby number two now.  Yuck.


"I still need time."  He laughs and I laugh too.  Teddy beings to laugh with us, looking between me and Elliot.  He has no clue why they are laughing but he wants to join in with the big boys too.  It's adorable. 

A little while later everyone is gone, Teddy is asleep and Phoebe has been fed and changes and is sleeping too.  I'm setting up a spread of food for Ana on her tray when the door bursts open.

Mia comes sprinting in squealing "Ana!"  

Christ, Mia!  The kids are sleeping!  I want to scream, as Ana immediately check to see if they wake.  Teddy stirs but doesn't fully wake.  I put my finger to my mouth and then points to Teddy and then to the bassinet.

"Oops!"  Mia mouths without sound and she tiptoes over to where Phoebe lays.   I hear a whispered gasp and she covers her mouth with her hand.

"Where's Ethan?"  Ana ask her quietly while I continues to set up the tray.  I spread a napkin across her lap gently.

"She is so precious!"  Mia whispers before answering.  "He is calling his parents.  He wanted to tell them we made it home okay and that you had the baby."

I take a spoon full of the mashed potatoes and try to feed Ana but she protest.  Mia is giggling at us.

"Can I wake him?"  She asks, pointing at Teddy.  "I've missed him so much these past two weeks."  She has her hands folded and is pouting.  She is begging in classic Mia style.

I look at me watch.  It's almost time for him to go home anyway.  "I guess."  I give in.  "Gail and Rebecca will need to bring him home soon anyway."

Mia lets out a little "yay!" and then shakes Teddy a little bit.  His eyes open sleepily and he gets excited when he sees it's Mia.

"Mee-yah!" he cries and jumps up into her arms.  She lifts him and swings him around.  I have to say, it's very cute to watch her dote over a small child like I once doted over her.




"Teddy!   I missed you!"  She holds him tight as his feet kick in the air.

"You go away."  Teddy says, with a pout.  He obviously missed her too.

"I know buddy.  I'm sorry.  But I promised I'd come back and I did.  See."  She smiles and kisses his cheek.

Ethan walks in and gets a big smile when he sees Teddy and Mia.  "Hey kiddo!"  He says to Teddy who smiles.

"Ee-fin.  Yook it!  Its Mee-yah!"  Ethan smiles and wraps his arm around Mia and kisses Teddys head.

Ethan looks over and peeks down at Phoebe.   "Aw!"  He says and looks at Ana.  "Good job guys."

"Didn't they?"  Mia agrees.

I smiles down at Ana.  Yes.  We did do a good job.

"Hey Mia"  I ask.  "Do you guys want to take Teddy tonight?"  This is all part of the plan, but I figure I'll entertain Teddy and make it a surprise decision.

"Really?"  Mia squeals in excitement looking at Teddy.  His eyes widen and to match his wide smile.

"Oh Christian, come on, they just got back from their honeymoon-" Ana start but Ethan cuts her off knowing where she is going with this.  I never told Ana the plans because I didn't want her to worry today.

"No, Ana, it would be perfectly fine.  We missed Teddy.  Mia has been going through Teddy withdrawals the entire trip.  We'd love to have him for the night."  Ethan insists.

Ana relaxes.  "Well, if you insist.   Teddy?  Do you want to stay with Aunt Mia and Uncle Ethan tonight?"

Teddy nods yes with a big smile.

"Maybe you guys will want to stay at our place since that's where all of Teddy's toys and clothes are."  I suggest, all part of the plan again.

"Sure"  Mia says.

"Becca and Paul can take you guys.  Arthur is getting Carla and Bob checked into their hotel and fed before he brings them here."  I remind them.

"Sounds great."  Mia says setting Teddy down.  "Teddy, why don't you give Mommy and Daddy a goodnight kiss and then grab Buddy the Bunny and we can go home and find Sophie!"

Teddy over with his arms stretched up to me.  I lift him to the bed.  He leans in and gives Ana a very gentle hug and kiss and then throws his arms around me in a tiny bear hug.  I love Teddy hugs.  I call them Teddy Bear Hugs because even though they are supposed to be big bear hugs, he is so small and gentle that they just end up feeling like hugs from a little stuffed bear- a teddy bear.   I smile.

"Be good for Aunt Mia and Uncle Ethan, okay?" I remind him as I the top of his head.   He smells like kiddie shampoo.  I love his smell.

"Kay.  I luff you Dad-dee." I love how he can't pronounce words.  They sound so cute in his little voice.

"I love you too, buddy."   I reply.  "You love Mommy too right?"  I want to make sure he tells Ana too.  She loves to hear it.

"Yess!"  Teddy enunciates the "s".

"I love you too my sweet baby boy."  She says blowing him a kiss.  She looks sad to see him leave.

Off the three of them go, strolling out the door hand-in-hand with Mia and Ethan. 

"They look good with a child."  Ana suggests with a smile.

"Easy!"  I warn.  "Hopefully a night with Teddy will be all the birth control those two need for a while."   Mia doesn't need a kid anytime soon.  She can borrow ours if she wants a kid.  I'm still protective of her even though she and Ethan are married now.

Ana laughs.  "Maybe in a year."  She teases and I rolls his eyes.  She's pushing it.

We finish eating and Ana feed Phoebe while I look through some of the photos Jose took on my computer.  They look amazing and I'm already trying to decide which ones I want to have on my desk at work, which ones will go on the fridge, and which ones we'll frame for the house.  


Ana looks anxious.  She must wonder where Carla and Bob are.  I text Arthur "ETA?"  and he immediately texts back "En Route.  10 minutes away".


"She's on her way baby."  I assure her and she smiles knowing I've read her mind.

Almost exactly 10 minutes later Carla and Bob knock on the door and enter.  I decide to give them some privacy.  Besides, I want to talk to Jose about the photos and having them blown up like the ones he took of Ana and a few he later took of Teddy for me.

I dial Jose and he picks up.

"Hey Jose" I say as I walk out of the room and into the waiting room.

"Hey Christian.  What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could come back to the hospital tonight.  I have an idea for a photo. Plus I want to talk to you about what to do with the ones you already took." I ask.

"Yeah man, sure.  Tori doesn't get in for a few more hours anyway so I got plenty of time to kill.  I'll be over in an hour.  I just need to eat something or I'll pass out."  He laughs.

"Okay, great.  See you then."  I say and hang up.

If someone had told me four years ago I'd be casually chatting with Jose on the phone, as friends, I would have laughed in their face.

It seems like an eternity passes but I continue looking at photos on my computer.  I stop on one sweet one of Phoebe sleeping in her hospital bassinet.  "My little peanut"  I say to myself.  



Just then Carla is at the door.  She is smiling.

"Ana's falling asleep.  I think we're gonna go."

I get up to hug her goodbye.

"Thanks again for flying us out and for putting us up in a hotel."

"The pleasure is all ours"  I remind her.

She smiles again and we hug.  She holds me a little longer than usual and gives a gentle squeeze before letting go.  "Thank you.  You take care of us.  Of my baby girl.  And now you've made us proud grand parents of the world's most adorable little boy and girl."

I smile at her.  "The pleasure is all ours"  I repeat, meaning it seriously both times.  "Sawyer will bring you home.  Just tell him when you see him in the lobby."

She looks so happy as she turns and walks to meet Bob at the end of the hall.  He waves at me and I return his wave.

I peek into the room and Ana is fast asleep.  Phoebe is also asleep.  I lean down and pick Phoebe up.  She doesn't wake.  I sit down on the reclining chair and lean back.  I gently hold her against my chest.  I decide now is as good a time as ever.  I unbutton my white dress shirt and unwrap Phoebe from her cocoon.  Very slowly I lay her against my bare chest.  Her skin against mine.  I wince at first at the unfamiliarity of it, but relax after a few seconds.  I did this with Teddy after Ana explained the importance of skin-to-skin contact with a newborn.  I was afraid Teddy would bond with Ana and not me, so I overcame my fears quickly.  I want to make sure I bond with Phoebe too.  She is my precious little princess.

I lay there for a while feeling her chest move up and down with mine.  Holy shit.  I created this.  The thought derails me again.  Ana and I created this.  I used to think of sex as an outlet to frustration.  As a way to punish girls who reminded me of my mother.   Now, I see it for what it really is.  A way to create life.  Well, I mean I will always think of it as more than that because it's a way to connect with Ana on a physical level.

I look at Phoebe and I realize my mother is in there somewhere.  One half of me is from my mother, and one half of me is in this baby.  I don't see anything that makes me think of my mom.  She looks too much like Ana.  Teddy, doesn't remind me of my mother because Teddy is a boy and it makes me just see myself.  I'm relieved she doesn't look like my mom.  The only part about her that is tied to the memory of my mother is her name.  Even though we agreed on Phoebe, Ana insisted on Ella as a middle name, so I gave in.  I always try to give Ana what she wants, since she's given me so much.  Especially all these things I never knew I wanted.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I look down.  It's a text from Jose.  It says he is on his way.  I get up slowly and wrap Phoebe up and put her down in her bassinet.  Then I make my way to the en suite bathroom and slip on a black t-shirt that is in my weekend bag on counter.

Jose appears in the door and I motion for him to come in but be quiet.  He sees Ana sleeping and smiles.  I get a small twinge of jealousy but remind myself that part of their history is over now.  He motions to me that he will meet me in the waiting room across the hall.  I stroll over to get Phoebe and met him there.

He takes a few photos of ideas I had, and then he sets up a rectangular stand with a black cloth.  He tells me to stand behind it and then he unwraps Phoebe who is still fast asleep and puts her in my hands.  I wonder how the photo will turn out.  I looks odd to me from my angle but I think I understand what he is trying to do.   A nurse passes by and smiles at us before entering Ana's room.  I hope she lets her sleep.

After he is finished he inserts the drive into my lap top and the photos pop up on the screen.  I see now what he did and I love the photo.  My little peanut sleeping in my hands.



"You guys make good babies."  Jose says with a smile as he admires his photos.  "You should definitely have more."

I laugh and then say goodnight to Jose while he packs up and I swaddle Phoebe back up in her blanket.  


Finally I bring her back into the room where Ana is still asleep.  I'm holding Phoebe, rocking her back and forth, humming Braham's lullaby.  I used to play this for Teddy on the piano when Ana was trying to get him to sleep.   


"Phoebe."  I whisper holding her up to my ear.  "See mommy?"  I point my nose toward Ana sleeping peacefully in the bed.  "Mommy is the most important person in the whole wide world to me and Teddy, and she will be to you too.  Someday you and Teddy will be too old to recognize that, and someday you'll both fall in love with people who will then become the most important people in your lives until you have children of your own, but mommy will still be the most important person in my life, followed by you and Teddy in a very close second."  I smile at myself.  I used to talk to Teddy like this.  In fact, I think I gave him a very similar speech.


"I don't even want you to forget that if it weren't for Mommy, you wouldn't be here.  Nor Teddy."  I think about Teddy being at home right now with Mia and Ethan probably having a great time reading a book or playing with his toys.   It makes me realize something.


"Actually, if it weren't for mommy, none of us would be here." I admit.   Me and Ana, Teddy, Phoebe. Mia and Ethan.  Even Kate and Elliot and Eva.  Ana is the reason for it all.  I look down at her, as she sleeps peacefully after her ordeal today.  There is a faint smile on her lips and for a second I wonder if she is awake and pretending to sleep so she can listen.


"Just don't tell Mommy how fat she has become, though."  I add, just to test her.  Ana doesn't move.  Her faint smile remains.  She is definitely sleeping. Maybe dreaming.


"I'm just kidding."  I say back down to Phoebe.  "Mommy is perfect.  Just like you.  You look like Mommy.  You have Mommy's eyes and I'll let you in on a little secret, those eyes are going to be the death of me.  When you want something and I say no and you flash those eyes at me, you'll cut me like a knife through the heart."  I admit.  God, I hope Phoebe doesn't remember this and use it against me.

"I love you, peanut."  I say as I lean my head down and kiss her.  I inhale her baby smell.  It smells so wonderful.  If only I could bottle it up and smell it forever.

I place Phoebe back in the bassinet and decide to climb into the bed next to Ana.  I had this bed especially built for that in mind.  I couldn't stand sleeping even a few feet away from her and the hospital beds are so cramped and small for two people, so I had one bilt a little smaller than a full so we could both fit comfortably and I coud hold her.  

I spread a blanket over us and fall asleep with her in my arms.

I wake a little while later to Ana nudging me.

"Ana?  What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to feed Phoebe and I can't get up.  Can you bring her to me?"

"Of course."  I leap out of bed and get her.

I watch Ana cradle her as she eats.  My mind races.  Jose is right, we make great babies but I don't think I can go through a day like today again.  I'm finally realizing my fear of losing her almost came true today.  

"I don't know if I can keep doing this Ana."  She looks at me confused, and panic sweeps across her face.

Of course, she isn't in my head and doesn't know what I'm talking about.  I quickly continue.  "I don't think I can take you being in the hospital again.  I know we both want a big family, but after almost losing you a third time, I don't want to keep risking it.  Maybe we can consider adoption next time.  You know, there are plenty of children out there that need families."  I smile thinking of myself and how lucky I was that Grace and Carrick adopted me.

"Not that I'm planning on our family growing bigger any time soon-"  She starts and glances down at Phoebe with a smile.  "But I think that is a good idea Christian.  As much as I love being barefoot and pregnant in your kitchen, I know we can give a good home to children who need parents like us.  Especially a father as wonderful as you are."  She smiles at me and I can't help but smile back.  For the first time ever I agree with her.  I have been a great father to Teddy these past few years and seeing Phoebe, my little girl, I know I'm going to be a great father to her too.

"You make me a wonderful father."  I remind her.   "You've taught me so much, Ana.   I was just thinking about it tonight.  I was standing there, watching you sleep with Phoebe in my arms and thinking of Teddy at home with Mia and Ethan.  Without you none of this would exist.  You came into my life and because of you, Kate and Elliot met.  Without them meeting, Mia and Ethan wouldn't have met.  You completely changed my world and the worlds of everyone around us.  As much as I love control, I have to say, you are the head of this family.  This whole family is a family because of you and you alone.  Imagine where we'd all be today if you weren't here."

She looks like she is contemplating it and then a shiver runs through her.

"Are you cold?"  I ask, grabbing a blanket off the couch and bringing it to her.

"No.  I was just thinking about it all.  What life would be like without all of this." She admits

"I don't even like to think about it.  You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and everyone around me.  That's why my parents love you so much.  You're like a gift from heaven to them.  To me too."  I say with a smile before I leans down and kisse her, with my hand hand caressing her soft pink cheek.  


I pull out of her hypnosis and look down at Phoebe who is done and staring up at us like she caught us. I reach down and lift her to burp her.

Ana cuddles up and watches me sway back and forth slowly as I pat her back to coax the burp out of her.  Finally she lets one out and I try for another but she isn't interested in another burp.  So I just lay her in his arms and rocks back and forth, humming again, until she falls asleep.


I look up once she is asleep and smile at Ana but then realize Ana is asleep as well.  I'm pleased with myself.


I put Phoebe down and kiss her, and then climb back into the bed and pull Ana into my arms,  and fall asleep with a smile on my face knowing this is where we both belong.

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